The terrible price of a bargain

Happy new year, first of all. I hope everyone had fun getting smashed and setting themselves or other people's houses ablaze with fireworks.

So, what can I say about 2009? It's not 2008 or 2010, it's somewhere in between. It doesn't roll of the tongue quite as well as 2008 did, it actually requires articulation to be understood rather than 2008, which could be slurred and easily understood (rather helpful when drunk). Lots of stuff will happen this year, especially for me; I'll be leaving school finally, I'll have to adjust to whatever regional British accent I have to put up with, I'll have to struggle to make friends and influence people and I'll have to come to terms with the fact that my parents are actually more useful that I previously thought.

I got back from the UK a few days ago, and my god, what madness I experienced there, in that horrible, dark and soul-destroying world of the After-Christmas sales. I will never understand what exactly it is about sales that can turn even the sweetest old lady into THE INCREDIBLE HULK WITH A HANDBAG. I'm not kidding, by the time I managed to squeeze my way out of M&S in Birmingham, my ribs ached from how often I was elbowed around the shop. I wasn't even trying to browse (I hate Marks and Spencers and their old-women clothes), I was just elbowed while wandering aimlessly around the shop. Apparently on the opening day of the sales in the UK, there were countless reports of shoppers behaving less like humans and more like animals as they invaded shopping malls round the country. Considering the behaviour I saw when I was there, I can believe it. Even in M&S, there were clothes strewn on the floor that obviously had been picked up and deemed unsuitable for purchase by some permed middle-aged biddy and thrown to the ground in a flurry of coat hangers and tags. Spectacular, yet grossly disheartening at the same time. Sales, it has to be said, reduce the human race into rabid consumerist animals- like crack addicts desperate for that one quick fix- willing to do anything for something that costs just a few pounds less than before.

On the bright side, the areas of most shops that were not part of the sales were very quiet, so I managed to pick up some stuff. To be honest, I didn't see the point of venturing into the sales at all, as because of the current mess the British economy is in, the pound was worth much less compared to the euro, so everything was a bargain. Thank you America, thank you for the gift of brand new DVDs at 8 euros each!

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to all of you who read this blog from time-to-time (if indeed, you exist). I hope you enjoy gorging yourselves to bloatation on all the turkey, pudding and mince pies you can lay your hands on.
If you happen to be celebrating another festival today, have a nice time doing whatever it is you do for fun (like sticking matches in your eyes, I don't know).

Roll on the Doctor Who Christmas Special!

Bah Humbug

It's December. Fa-la-la-la-la and all that nonesense.
I'm at home and I'm annoyed at being forced to be at home when I have nothing wrong with me other than a touch of flu that is rapidly disappearing.

Am I excited about Christmas in 13 days? Yes and no.

Yes, because of; the presents, the endless supply of alcohol, the Doctor Who Christmas Special, the day off from studying, the endless supply of alcohol, the prospect of watching my dog mauling his presents to near destruction, shopping in the UK and spending all my cash, the schoolChristmas Party, moving into my new room and did I mention the endless supply of alcohol?

No, because of: the terrible music that gets piped into everywhere, the movies on TV I have already seen, turkey in every meal for a week, 12 hours in a car to the UK, sales, summer ball gown shopping, pretending to have a good time with relatives, the prospect of recieving sex toys as gifts from my friends (har-har you guys), having to study for exams, possibly failing said exams, being asked about my social life and the general feeling of claustrophobia that comes with being cooped up in my grandparents house for 6 hours talking about their health problems.

Call me miserable, but for a holiday that has so much potential, so much goes wrong for me. It's not that I hate visiting the UK and seeing my relatives, but I've done it every year for the past 7 years and it really is starting to get a tad boring. I bloody hate Christmas music and all the cheese that comes with a heavily commercialised holiday such as Christmas- I really don't feel that it's needed. We all know it's Christmas and we're apparently supposed to be jolly and generous, we don't need that fact to be shoved in our face. Anyway, surely we're supposed to be generous towards the poor and needy, and not towards incredibly rich companies that really don't need any more money. Go and give money to Oxfam!

Don't even get me started on the music. Dear lord it's terrible. I don't mind carols, they're actually really nice to sing and listen to, but all this crappy pop music with cheesy lyrics makes me want to beat myself over the head with a spade. I can feel my blood-pressure rise every time I hear Do They Know It's Christmas. Again, this is all because record companies want to make the most money out of the public as possible, and they obviously think producing cheesy songs about Jesus and snow using the latest untalented girl/boy group is the best way to do it.

I'm making myself angry, so I'll stop there, I think. Basically, I think Christmas would be a much nicer holiday if it wasn't so commercialised and cheesy and in-your-face. Meanwhile, I'll be opening my presents, getting drunk and enjoying my ideal Christmas by avoiding all the festivities as much as possible.